Klamba? vatsala ne poochha ki vah rasoee mein kauntar-top par kahaan baithee thee. mujhe pata nahin hai. aap hee batao! aapake paas nuskha hai! "oh, theek hai, usane kaha aur kaagaj ke tukade kee jaanch kee jo vah apane poore subah ke saath le ja raha tha. yah kahate hain ki bees minat aur. bees minat. lekin aapane chaalees pahale kaha tha.  mainne turant stov band kar diya. kya mainne? oh bakavaas. mera bura! yah ek aisee aapada hai, mainne pain mein gooee saamagree ko dekha aur kaha.  shit. ham ek nuskha par subah kaam kar rahe the vatsala set par kisee se milee thee. usane kasam khaee thee ki yah sabase achchha pakavaan tha jise usane kabhee bhee chakha tha. vah chaahatee thee ki main ise pakaoon. main isaka naam bhee nahin bata sakatee thee. use chaar baar doharaane ke lie kahane ke baad, mainne apana tyaag diya. usane mujhe kuchh videshee seks trik ke baare mein bataaya. main ab bhee nahin kar sakatee. isake naam ka uchchaaran karen. aur ise vaise bhee bhool jaana chaahie. yah sthool tha. vah pooree subah kauntaratop par baithee thee, mujhe nirdesh de rahee thee, jo ki, vaastav mein jo hona chaahie tha, usase thoda alag tha. isalie, hamane saaree baat khatm kar dee. koee baat nahin. main kuchh aur pakaoongee, ’mainne kaha. lekin isamen samay lagega. main intazaar nahin kar sakata; main bhookha hoon. kya hamaare paas maigee hai? haan. yah us alamaaree mein hai, jisake peechhe mera phon baj raha tha kol phoravard-kol riseev karen. main isaka dhyaan rakhoongee, usane kaha, aur alamaaree se maigee ke paiket nikaalane ke lie jhukee. kya aapako yakeen hai? aap khaana bana sakate hain? "beshak! kyonki mujhe khaana banaana nahin aata, isaka matalab yah nahin hai ki main khaana nahin bana sakata, vah hansa. lekin yah sirph maigee hai. main khaana bana sakata hoon. main koee amaany nahin hoon! usane kaha aur dekha balki naaraaj ho gaya. theek hai, mainne kaha aur apana phon uthaaya. ma bula rahee hai. hailo. chhavee, beta. tum kaise ho? main theek hoon, ma. ghar par sab kaise hain? ham achchhe hain aur ham sabhee bahut utsaahit hain .. usane ise latakaana chhod diya.  kya hua? ke baare mein utsaahit?  beeta, aapake lie ek prastaav hai. usane kaha. phir se nahin! vah chaahatee thee ki main saphal hone se pahale meree shaadee kar loon. ek kandom vigyaapan mein. phir, main pooree tarah se vivaah yogy nahin rahoonga. shaadee ka prastaav. ladaka bangaalee bhee hai. aur usane kaha- lekin ma, mainne tumase kaha tha-main abhee shaadee nahin karane ja raha hoon. main abhee taiyaar nahin hoon. , mainne dasaveen baar kaha. taiyaar hone jaisee koee baat nahin hai! aap bas usase milen aur phaisala karen. ham aap par koee dabaav nahin daal rahe hain, usane kaha, "
aap soch bhee nahin sakate ki jab bhee ve meree shaadee kee charcha karate hain to mere ghar par sabhee log kitane madhur aur shaant svabhaav ke hote hain. ve jaanate hain ki majaboor unhen is vishesh maamale mein kaheen bhee nahin milega. mainne aapase kaha tha ki main aapako bata doonga ki main kab shaadee karana chaahata hoon. phir aap doolhe kee talaash mein kyon gae? "main bahut kam hee gusse mein hoon, khaasakar meree maan par. aur yah un durlabh samayon mein se ek tha. ham unakee talaash mein nahin gae. ve hamaare paas aae! aap bahut achchhe hain aur aap hain. ek achchhe parivaar ke lie. aur ab aap vivaah yogy umr ke hain. isalie yah spasht hai ki prastaav hamaare raaste mein aaenge. yah vaastav mein puraana tha. ve har baar is bahaane ka upayog karate hain. mainne kuchh nahin kaha. beta, suno. vah. vah bahut achchha hai. usaka parivaar bahut hee pratishthit hai. pratishthit hai. aur vah bahut kamaata hai. usane kaha. to aap kah rahe hain ki mujhe paise ke lie shaadee karanee chaahie. yah mera matalab nahin hai. keval paisa nahin hai. lekin khulakar. agar ham aapake lie vivaah kee vyavastha karate hain, to kya hamaare lie kisee aise vyakti kee talaash karana nyaayochit nahin hai, jo hamaare lie kamaata ho? aap mere lie vivaah ka aayojan kyon kar rahe hain? vah poore das sekand ke lie mere chehare ko ghooratee rahee, aur phir usakee aankhen daraavanee aur badee ho gaeen, usane apane sir ko jor se hilaaya aur phir se shaadee nahin kee. ain. ma ne aahen bharee. aap shaadee karane vaalee duniya kee akelee ladakee nahin hain. sochane ke lie hamaaree zimmedaariyaan hain. vee ma, pleej. imoshanal shit ke saath paryaapt!  main achaanak phat gaya. mujhe isaka turant pashchaataap hua. main asabhy nahin hona chaahie; vah meree maan thee, aakhirakaar. lekin mujhe nahin pata ki jab bhee meree shaadee kee charcha hotee hai to mere saath kya hota hai. main apane aap ko ek paagal, daraavana sanskaran mein badal deta hoon. maan kee aavaaz sakht ho gaee. theek hai. vah ladaka sanjay mumbee mein rahata hai. yadi aap chaahen to use dekhen aur yadi aap aisa nahin karate hain to jaen. mainne priyesh se kaha hai ki aap is ladake ka baayodaata aur photograaph mel karen. isake maadhyam se jao agar aapake paas apane vyast modaling shedyool mein kuchh minaton ka samay hai to aapako har samay mere kariyar ko kyon kheenchana hai? is sab mein modaling kahaan hai? teetee sab vahaan shuroo hota hai. aapane vahee kiya hai jo aap chaahate hain aur hamane aapako hamesha apana jeevan jeene aur maze karane ke lie protsaahit kiya hai. lekin aapako ab basane ke baare mein sochana shuroo karana chaahie lekin kyon? ab main kyon rukoon? mera kariyar kaaphee achchha chal raha hai mainne samajhaana shuroo kiya lekin usane mujhe kaat diya. mujhe pata hai ki tumhaara kariyar kitana achchha chal raha hai. aakhiree baar aapane kab shoot kiya tha?  theek hai. haan, main maanata hoon ki ab kuchh samay ho gaya hai lekin cheejen behatar hain. mainne ek ejent ko kaam par rakha hai. vah vaastav mein achchha hai aur usane mujhe aashvaasan diya hai ki mujhe milega- chhavee: ma deedee. aapako pata hona chaahie ki kab rukana hai. prthvee par usaka kya arth hai? mujhe pata hai kab rukana hai. aur yah nishchit roop se ab nahin hai. abhee tak nahin, mainne kaha dheere dheere tum ab tak achchha kar rahe ho. log jaanate hain, lekin beeta tum. aur hamen shaadee ke kaee prastaav milate hain jo hamesha ke lie nahin rahenge. ek baar jab aapaka kariyar bigadane lagega, to log aapase shaadee nahin karana chaahenge.  ya yadi aap ek kandom vigyaapan lete hain. aapako us baare mein chinta karane kee jaroorat nahin hai, ma. mujhe yakeen hai ki main tumhen kar sakata hoon. koee mujhase shaadee kar lo. kya koee ladaka hai? kya yahee sab kuchh hai? kya aapako kisee se pyaar hai? nahin, ma. main is samay kisee ke saath baahar nahin ja raha hoon, mainne kaha, mera man achaanak tushaar ke lie bah raha hai. main jhooth nahin bol raha tha. ham tab tak det par nahin gae the, isalie mainne unhen aadhikaarik roop se det karana shuroo nahin kiya tha. lekin isaka matalab yah nahin hai ki main nahin chaahata tha, main chaahata tha. he bhagavaan, main aisa karana chaahata tha. ma ne mujhe usake saath vaastavikata mein vaapas laane ka phaisala kiya. ladakee hai? kya nahin! kya aap mere saath majaak kar rahe hain? maan! aap kya dekh rahe hain? main bilkul seedha hoon. jab aapako apanee maan ko yah bataana hoga ki aap samalaingik nahin hain, to aapako ajeeb lagata hai. unhonne spasht kiya ki raahat milee hai. oh. mainne sirph modaling aur har cheej ke baare mein socha. suno ma, mujhe ab sachamuch jaana hai. mera naashta thanda ho raha hai, mainne kaha. main baayodaata aur chitr ke maadhyam se jaoonga aur aapako bataoonga mainne ek vichaar ke roop mein joda. oh beta! isaka matalab hai ki aap vichaar karenge?  main usakee aavaaz mein uttejana ko sun sakata tha. umm .. .main dekhoonga ’mainne kaha, kamiting nahin. tum dhyaan rakhana tum bhee, beeta. alavida. main chup ho gaya aur apana raasta vaapas rasoee mein bana liya. to, aap shaadee kar rahe hain? vatsala ne poochha, kyonki usane maigee ko koee raasta nahin diya. main nishchit roop se shaadee nahin kar raha hoon! lekin aapane phon par kaha ki aap baayodaata aur photograaph kee jaanch karenge. haan. aur phir main ma ko bataoonga ki main use pasand nahin karata. main abhee tak shaadee nahin kar raha hoon, mainne kaha ki kya hoga agar vah paise ke shitloads kamaata hai? tum ab bhee usase shaadee nahin karoge? beshak! kaise baat karata hai? kya aap mujhase kah rahe hain ki mujhe ek ladake se sirph isalie shaadee karanee chaahie kyonki vah motee kamaee karata hai? haan, main vaastav mein aapako ek aise ladake se shaadee karane ke lie kah raha hoon jo paise kamaata hai. tum kyon nahin shoukdd? usane maigee ke saath vichalit hokar, laaparavaahee se uttar diya. itana sust hoga! kya? paise ke lie kisee ladake se shaadee karana aapako veshya nahin banaata, paise ke lie kisee ladake se shaadee karana aapako bevakooph banaata hai. bas kaise? kya aap samajhaenge?  mainne poochha. yah saamaany gyaan hai. agar aap ek arenj mairij kar rahe hain, to aap aise ladake se shaadee kyon karenge jo achchha paisa nahin kamaata? yah khareedaaree kee tarah hai. aap lekh ke lie ek hee raashi ka bhugataan kar rahe hain, lekin bahut ka doshapoorn tukada khareedane ke lie chunana. aap avishvasaneey hain! aap shaadee kee khareedaaree se tulana kar rahe hain, mainne kaha, stabdh. haan! kyonki yah ekadam sahee udaaharan hai! mool roop se shaadee kee khareedaaree khareedaaree kee tarah hai. jab aap joote kee dukaan karate hain, to aapako braand, shailee, saamagree, rang, aaraam aur yah kitana kharch hoga, dekhenge. isee tarah, jab aap shaadee karane ke lie kisee ladake ka chayan karate hain, to aap paarivaarik prshthabhoomi, shiksha, roop-rang dekhate hain, chaahe vah eminem, usakee samajhadaaree aur paise ko pasand karata ho ya nahin. sabhee ke lie, aapake maata-pita vahee hain jinhen shaadee kee vyavastha ke lie bhugataan karana hoga. to kam kamaane vaale ko kyon chunen?  to agar bhavishy mein ankit ko saaree gandee sampatti nahin milee, to aap usase shaadee nahin karenge? kya? nahin! hamaara maamala alag hai; main usase pyaar karatee hoon. moongaphalee bechane par bhee main usase shaadee karoonga! mere kahane ka matalab yah tha ki choonki aap inamen se kisee ko bhee vyaktigat roop se nahin jaanate hain, isalie yah kuchh maanadandon ke aadhaar par sabase achchha chunane ke lie samajh mein aata hai. aur paisa nishchit roop se unamen se ek hai, usane kaha. hamm aapake paas ek bindu hai. . main isake baare mein toot gaya. phir bhee. mujhe pata nahin kyon, lekin sirph shaadee ka vichaar mujhe thand lagana deta hai. mera matalab hai, kya hoga agar vah kisee tarah ka manorogee ho jae? koee hai jo sabake saamane achchha hai lekin kuchh vaastav mein ghrnit seks saamaan mein hai? kya hoga agar vah ... bistar mein kisee prakaar ka vidroh kaary karata hai? aur mujhe kuchh samaan roop se ghrnit banaata hai? aur mujhe maarata hai jab main chhavee ko asahamat karata hoon, to krpaya roken. aap mujhe dara rahe hain. oh. mujhe khed hai. mujhe isase koee matalab nahin tha.  main kabhee-kabhee bhool jaata tha ki vatsala, usake sabhee darshan aur apamaanajanak tippaniyon ke lie, yah tha! mool roop se sirph ek bachcha. haalaanki vah kabhee nahin maanatee "not maind. chalo baayodaata kee jaanch karen. main dekhana chaahatee hoon ki ladaka kaisa hai, usane kaha aur apane laipatop ko chaaloo kiya. oh krpaya. kya hamen karana hai? main sirph ma ko phon karoonga aur use bataoonga ki 1 use pasand nahin hai. aao. bas ek najar daalen. kya hoga agar vah aapase usake baare mein kuchh poochhatee hai? aap sahee he. vah shaayad mujhase kuchh poochhegee, mainne kaha. paaran shabd? usane poochha aur mainne use apane jeemel akaunt ka paasavard de diya. nahin, main aapako yah nahin bata raha hoon ki priyesh mukharjee ka ek apathit mel tha. kya yahee hai? haan, vah mera bhaee hai, mainne javaab diya. main laipatop ke peechhe munh karake baitha tha aur vatsala ke eksapreshan ko padhakar andaaja laga sakata tha ki ladaka kitana bura tha. ham baad ke lie tasveer ko bachaenge aur pahale usaka baayodaata chek karenge. lagata hai koee phark nahin padata. sanjay chatarjee. 19 disambar 1985 ko janme. isalie vah lagabhag chhabbees hain. tum ho? ikkees. vah paanch saal ka hai. koee raasta nahin yah bura nahin hai! paanch saal par vichaar kiya ja sakata hai. chhah saal koee ulta nahin raha hoga, usane kauntar kiya. aur jaaree raha, chhah pheet. gora, sundar, blaah-blaah. dard, baagavaanee, bla-bla-blaah mein ruchi. x aur xii mein merit soochee, kolej topar, bla-bla-bla. munabaee ke yahaan ek bahuraashtreey kampanee mein kaam karata hai. prativarsh paintees laakh ka paikej kamaata hai. paintees? vah bada hai. vah kya karata hai? echaar dipaartament mein kaam karata hai.  mainne vatsala ko phir se baayodaata skain karate dekha. vah ekadam sahee lagata hai. mujhe koee badee khaamee nahin mil rahee hai. shaayad aapako usase milana chaahie. aapako lagata hai? mainne poochha, tushaar kee chhavi achaanak mere dimaag mein phir se aa gaee. usake saath teen baithaken, aur vah sab mere baare mein soch sakata tha. mujhe achaanak usakee yaad aane lagee. main use phir se dekhana chaahata tha. haan. use bulao aur ek baithak set karen. main paas kee mej par baithoonga aur apanee tippaniyon par dhyaan doonga. tab ham behatar moolyaankan karane mein saksham honge. kya aap gambheer hain?