main samajhata hoon kee mujhe aapase pyaar hai ! Part-2

aap aage kya karana chaahate hain?


lekin theek hai, mujhe maarane vaalee ekamaatr cheej tushaar ke jeevan mein mera mahatv tha. to, aap aage kya karana chaahate hain?  tushaar ne meree taraph dekha aur poochha ki hamane apana raasta bana liya hai. tum jo bhee kaho ... main kahata hoon .. usane ek minat ke lie socha. chalo tumhen khush karane ke lie kuchh karate hain. mainne apana sir hilaaya. naah! yah sirph mere mood mein se ek hai. main thodee der mein theek ho jaoonga. aapaka ek mood, hai na? isalie, mujhe bas yah seekhana hoga ki apane sabhee mood se kaise nipaten .. ab jab main aapake saath itana samay bitaane ja raha hoon, to yah aapake lie behatar hoga ki main ise behatar samajhoon. hai na? ham ek saath adhik samay bitaane ja rahe hain?  mainne poochha, bhramit. vah kis baare mein baat kar raha tha? kya vah is baare mein baat kar raha tha ki mujhe kya ummeed hai ki vah kya baat kar raha hai mere dil kee dhadakan badh gaee. jaahir hai usane ek chehara banaaya. isake baare mein itana spasht kya tha? tushaar chhavee mere saath mat khelo, mainne ret par neeche dekha aur kaha. main nahee khel raha hoon. vaakee. main vaastav mein aapake saath adhik samay bitaane ka iraada rakhata hoon. bistar mein? "haan. mainne use ek ghoorana diya. yah bahut prabhaavee nahin tha. haalaanki,

main samajhata hoon kee mujhe aapase pyaar hai ! Part-2

 mujhe jo ghaatak luk diya gaya tha, vah use galat saabit karane ka tha. main aansooon ke bahut kareeb tha, jisane mere ghoorane kee teevrata ko pooree tarah se barbaad kar diya. aur kauch. end da shovar. end da tebal top. end da el-are!  jab mainne chhodane ke lie haath badhaaya, to mainne virodh kiya aur daudane kee koshish kee, lekin yah kaam nahin kiya. vah bahut majaboot tha. mujhe pata tha ki main usake saath kaaphee baar raha hoon. mujhe jaane do. mainne neeche dekha. .mainne usakee aankhon mein nahin dekha. main nahin chaahata tha ki use vahaan chot lage. aao! tumhen pata hai ki main chaaron or bevakooph bana raha tha chaaron or moorkh mat karo! kya mainne aapako pahale se hee nahin bataaya. nahin. khel. saath mein. mere.  aur meree teevr sharmindagee ke lie, aansoo main yah sab vaapas pakad raha tha, jabaki achaanak mere gaal ko bahana shuroo kar diya. main bhaagana chaahata tha, lekin usane abhee bhee mujh par pakad banaee huee thee. aur chhavee ko kheench liya, nahin. krpaya rona mat usane meree baahon ko pakad rakha tha nahin, mainne kaha aur kheench liya. main ab aisa nahin karana chaahata. cheejen badal gaee. aur mere lie yah kaam ab aapako lagata hai ki mujhe vah nahin dikhata? aapako lagata hai ki main andha hoon?  yah baat hamaare paas nahin hai, mainne use dekha, hairaan rah gaya. vah jaanata tha? mujhe pata hai ki yah ab aapake lie kaam nahin kar raha hai. aur mujhe pata hai ki yah mere lie kaam nahin kar raha hai ya to main chup raha. rona mat. krpya. mainne soongh liya aur chhavee ... se aansoo ponchh daale ... mujhe pata hai yah tumhaare lie mushkil hai. lekin mujh par bharosa karo-yah mere lie bhee bahut kathin raha hai. aur bhee, mujhe lagata hai. aap ek ladakee hain, isalie aap apane chmotions se nipatane mein achchhe hain. jabaki main ... yah sab mere lie naya hai. meree tumhaare lie kya naya hai? mainne dheere se poochha "yah. hamen. yah abhee bhee ek khula sambandh nahin hai, kya yah hai? main aapako doosare ladake ke saath dekhane kee kabhee bhee kalpana nahin kar sakata. aur mujhe pata hai ki aap mujhe kisee aur ladakee ke saath nahin dekh sakate. yah sab bold mein likha gaya tha. us raat aapake svaagat samaaroh mein, vah muskuraaya. oes main laal laal. to ab aur kyon dikhaava karate hain? chalo ise ekamusht kahate hain-main aur adhik chaahata hoon. main vishvaas nahin kar sakata tha ki yah ho raha tha. mujhe vishvaas nahin ho raha tha ki yah vaastav mein ho raha hai. vah vaastav mein vah sab kah raha tha vaastav mein yah sveekaar karate hue ki hamaare beech keval bhautik rasaayan vigyaan se adhik kuchh tha. kuchh to bolo, usane kaha. main nahin jaanata ki main kya kahoon. aapako aur kyon chaahie? kyonki. mujhe lagata hai ki main tumase pyaar karata hoon, usane meree aankhon mein dekha aur gambheerata se kaha ki main stabdh tha. main poore teen minat tak use dekhata raha, isase pahale ki mere chehare par ek muskuraahat dheere-dheere aae aur mainne kaha, mujhe lagata hai ki main bhee usase pyaar karata hoon. agale teen din, aakhirakaar, bistar mein bitae gae. to kya tum sach mein kabhee apane maata-pita ko nahin jaanate the?  mainne tushaar se poochha. ham ek philm dekhane gae the, lekin yah itana ubaoo ho gaya ki hamane ek-doosare se baat karane kee bajaay samaapt kar diya. ya shaayad yah sirph ham the. hamane ek-doosare kee kampanee ka aanand liya aur bevakooph philm kee paravaah kee aur usamen apana keematee aur maapa samay barbaad kiya. aur tushaar us din ajeeb tarah ka abhinay kar raha tha. mainne bas betarateeb dhang se poochha tha ki usake maata-pita kahaan the jab usane kaha, mere koee maata-pita nahin hain. pahale to mujhe laga ki vah majaak kar raha hai. lekin tab unhonne mujhe bataaya ki vah vaastav mein apane maata-pita ke saath kabhee nahin rahe the. aur yah ki unake pitaajee kee mrtyu ho gaee jab vah ek bachcha tha. vishay ko oopar laane mein mujhe turant pachhataava hua. vah poora din shaant aur shaant tha. mainne use kabhee aise nahin dekha tha. yah aisa tha jaise usake lie yah naya kon tha jise mainne kabhee nahin jaana tha. yah shaayad hee kuchh aashcharyachakit karane vaala tha, kyonki main use achchhee tarah se nahin jaanata tha. lekin main shuroo kar raha tha. aur mainne mahasoos kiya ki jo kuchh usane kiya tha usase kaheen adhik usake paas tha. nahin, usane sir hilaakar kaha. maan aur pitaajee alag ho gae jab main keval nau saal ka tha ... aur aapakee kastadee dee gaee thee ..? pitaajee ne kaha aur mainne usake chehare par ek chhotee see muskuraahat dekhee, tum usase pyaar karatee ho, hai na? mainne poochha. unhonne kuchh nahin kaha, lekin unakee abhivyakti ne yah sab kaha. usake chehare par ek muskuraahat ka vah nishaan mujhe yah bataane ke lie paryaapt tha ki mujhe vah sab kuchh bataana hai jo usane kiya tha. ?  mainne poochha. kaar durghatana. main usake saath kaar mein tha ... mainne dekha ki use khoon bah raha hai. ..nazar ke. .. usakee aankhon mein door kee nazar thee. usakee aankhon ka rang thoda badal gaya, aur mujhe ehasaas hua ki usake mood ke saath kuchh karana hoga. aur main vahaan aansuon kee chamak dekh sakata tha. is tarah use dekhane ke lie mera dil toot gaya. vah nau saal ke bachche kee tarah dikhata tha jab vah apane pita kee mrtyu ho gaee thee. vah khoya hua dikh raha tha. mainne usaka haath pakad kar nichod liya. usane door dekha. main maaphee chaahata hoon, main phusaphusaaya. usane sahamati mein sir hilaaya. usake baad, hamane is vishay ko phir se nahin laaya. philm khatm hone tak hamane ek doosare se baat bhee nahin kee. main us par nazaren churaata raha, yah dekhane ke lie ki kya vah theek hai. vah mujhe anadekha karata raha, mere alaava sab kuchh dekhata raha. yah us raat ke baad mein tha, jab ham ek saath raat ka khaana kha rahe the, ki vah ise phir se laaya. tumhen pata hai, aisa nahin tha ki main duniya ka ekamaatr bachcha tha,

main samajhata hoon kee mujhe aapase pyaar hai ! Part-2

 jisake paas pitaajee nahin the. lekin use kisee tarah kho dena poore parivaar ko khone jaisa tha .. kyon? tumhaaree maan kaisee hai? vah tumhen vaapas nahin le gaee? nahin. mainne kuchh kahane ke lie usaka intajaar kiya. main jaanana chaahata tha, lekin thes nahin pahunchaane ka phaisala kiya. aakhir mein, unhonne kaha aur kaha, maan aur pitaajee ke alag hone ke baad, pitaajee abhee bhee usake saath cheejon ko theek karane kee koshish kar rahe the. vah shaadee ka kaam karane kee koshish kar raha tha ... meree khaatir. lekin mom is vichaar ke pooree tarah khilaaph theen. usane jo kuchh kaha, vah use nahin sunega.
kya koee aur tha?  mainne dheere se poochha, mere shabdon ka vajan. mujhe aisa lagata hai. unake alag hone ke peechhe ka kaaran mujhe kabhee nahin pata tha. main abhee bhee nahin hai. lekin mujhe lagata hai ki yah usaka nirnay tha ... aur usake jeevan ka koee aur aadamee. .. pitaajee ne use vaapas aane ke lie manaane kee pooree koshish kee. vah nahin chaahata tha ki ek ... ek ... ghatana hamaare jeevan ko itana prabhaavit kare, unhonne kaha. vah use maaph karane aur use vaapas lene ke lie taiyaar tha? haan. lekin kshama vah nahin thee jo vah chaahatee thee. vah kuchh aur chaahatee thee-talaak talaak. isase pahale ki main ise rok paata, mere munh se shabd nikal gaya. main apanee jeebh ko thoda sa. mere aashchary ke lie, tushaar meree aankh se mila aur usake honthon ke chhor par ek chhotee see muskaan khelee. m soree, mainne namrata se badabadaaya. koee baat nahin, unhonne kaha ki bahut tej svar mein bolana jaaree rakha, vaastav mein bahut tej hai. yah aisa tha jaise vah jaldee se jaldee khatm hone aur kahaanee ke saath karane ke lie utsuk tha. isalie, vah usake saath vaapas nahin aana chaahatee thee. kyonki vah us doosare aadamee ke saath "pyaar" mein thee.  usane prem shabd ko aise ugal diya jaise ki vah kuchh aisa ho jisase vah ghrna karata ho. aur isalie, jab unhen talaak mil gaya, to paapa ne meree kastadee kar dee. aur adhik kee tarah usane pitaajee ko meree hiraasat dee. aur us aadamee se shaadee kar lee. thodee der baad pitaajee ka dehaant ho gaya.  vah tumhaare lie vaapas nahin aaya? are haan. vah vaapas aaee. antim sanskaar ke lie. parantu mere lie nahin. do ghante kee aupachaarikata ke baad vah chalee gaee. tab tum kahaan gae the? tum kahaan thahare? mainne poochha. rishtedaaron. unhonne karavat lee, mujhe unake saath daya se rahane diya. "tushaar..main use rokana chaahata tha. main ab ise sunane ke lie sahan nahin kar sakata tha. main kalpana karana bhee shuroo nahin kar sakata tha ki vah itanee kam umr mein vah sab kaise gujar gaya. aur phir, main vaastav mein anootha tha. vintej kaimara. yah pitaajee ka tha. vah vaastav mein photograaphee mein dilachaspee nahin rakhate the, lekin unhonne ise kuchh neelaamee ya kuchh mein khareeda hoga. aur mainne yaadrchchhik tasveeren klik keen. . . bas samay gujaarane ke lie. phir mainne unhen vibhinn patrikaon mein bhejana shuroo kar diya ... ek din, mainne jaikapot maara aur isee tarah yah sab shuroo hua, main muskuraaya. haan. aur yahee kaaran hai ki mere paas ghar nahin hai. yahee kaaran hai ki main khaanaabadosh ka jeevan jeena chunata hoon. jab aap bachche the to is tarah rahate the?  ghar ke lie ek parivaar kee jaroorat hai, unhonne kaha. main poochhana chaahata tha ki kya vah usake baad apanee maan se mile. ya agar vah use ab dekhana chaahata tha. aur kya unhonne phon par baat kee. main jaanana chaahata tha ki kya vah abhee bhee apane rishtedaaron ke sampark mein hai, jinake paas ek baar kyonki tum tha kyonki tum saath rahate the. aur main poochhana chaahata tha ki kya usake paas ghar hoga, jab usaka parivaar hoga. ya kya vah jokhim lene ke lie bahut jyaada pareshaan tha. main unaka parivaar banana chaahata tha. main usake saath ghar banaana chaahata tha. lekin mainne kuchh nahin kaha. vah pahale se hee bahut pareshaan tha. jaisa ki mainne use kaatane ke beech mein dekha, mainne use apanee aankhon ko dekhakar mujhase muskuraate hue mulaakaat kee. muskaan mein khushee kee kamee thee. usakee aankhen abhee bhee thodee udaas theen. yah chot lagee hai, bas use chot lagee hai.

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