main samajhata hoon kee mujhe aapase pyaar hai ! part-1

usake baare mein socho


agale do haphte narak the. narak. tushaar se door rahana isase jyaada mushkil kabhee nahin tha. minat beet gae. 5o dheere dheere. aur bhale hee mere paas vaastav mein usake baare mein sochane ke lie bhee samay nahin tha, lekin yah ekamaatr aisee cheej thee jo mainne poore din, pooree raat kee. usake baare mein socho. usaka sapana. har saans ke saath mainne liya. isaka koee aur raasta nahin tha. shuruaat mein, mainne khud ko kaam mein shaamil karane aur usake baare mein bhoolane kee koshish kee. lekin yah abhee nahin hoga. vah mere dimaag se door nahin rahega. mainne un sabhee dinon mein ghar ke chaaron or ek premapoorn paagal kee tarah kadam rakha tha. mainne bhee apanee aankhon mein vah kaalpanik sapana dekha tha. naitik abhee tak nikala nahin tha ki jaadoogar ne sabhee ko nihit kiya tha. vah vaastav mein patalee hava se baahar modaling ke achchhe prastaav nahin de raha tha. isalie, abhee tak koee kaam nahin tha. lekin vahaan hoga-naitik ne mujhe aashvaasan diya tha. vah usakee dekhabhaal ke lie saamaan kar raha tha. jab tak aisa nahin hua, keval ek cheej mujhe metro sports ke lie kie gae chhote khel slot par kaam karana tha. mainne agale teen dinon tak kuchh bhee shedyool nahin kiya hai, mainne naeek ko phon par bataaya. aisa kyon? saptaah ke madhy mein saptaahaant kee yaatra ke lie ja rahe hain, ladakiyaan?  nahin! tushaar aa raha hai .. aur usane aapako apane agale teen dinon mein se har ek sekand usake saath bitaane ke lie kaha hai? vah khoobasoorat hai. nahin। mein chaahata hoon. oh yaar. is pyaar ko chodo. aap jaanate hain ki bhagavaan ne kabhee pyaar jaisee cheej banaane ke baare mein kyon socha? mera jeevan kharaab karane ke lie. mere sabhee graahakon ko ek hee samay mein pyaar ho gaya lagata hai!  aur yah aapako prabhaavit karata hai ki kaise? mainne poochha. kya tum mere saath paagalon jaisa majaak kar rahe ho? yadi mere graahak projekt nahin lete hain, to mujhe apana kameeshan nahin milata hai. aur meree premika ko usakee naveenatam maang pooree nahin hotee hai. jisakee vajah se main let nahin hota. aur main aapako bataata hoon, shaareerik svaasthy hai. main hansa. mujhe naitik bahut pasand tha. vah hamesha sabhee prakaar ke bakavaas se bhara tha! maanasik aur mere bahut bure ke lie to, ladakiyaan, jitana adhik aap kaam karate hain, utana hee yah mere dimaag kee shaanti ke lie aur mere mukkebaajon ke andar kya tvist hai. jald hee kaam karane ke lie apane pyaare bat ko vaapas laen. aur mujhe us bhayaanak seks ke kuchh veediyotep bhejen jo aap karane kee yojana bana rahe hain. mainne fon kaat diya. har baar jab vah shahar mein tha, baar aur hotal ke kamaron mein baithak se thak kar, hamane us din mareen draiv mein milane ka phaisala kiya tha. unhonne isaka sujhaav diya tha aur main mauke par kood gaya tha. din mein unase milana kabhee-kabhee hamaare rishte ke bhavishy ke lie achchha hota. aur main nishchit roop se kuchh adhik paryaapt aur adhik lambee avadhi ke lie dekh raha tha. isalie main chitr mein kabhee-kabhee bina mekap ke milana chaahata tha. main usake lie intajaar kar raha tha, jo mere saamane phaila paanee kee vistrt avadhi ko dekh raha tha. mareen draiv mumbee mein hamesha se meree sabase pasandeeda jagah rahee hai. yah jab bhee mere paas tha, tab kam mahasoos karane ke lie yah sabase achchha upaay tha. kee bhaavanaen bechainee aur niraasha jo mujhe aksar kathor paristhitiyon mein apane oopar letee dikhatee thee, usaka koee aur upaay nahin tha. main hamesha shaam ko vahaan tahalane jaana pasand karata tha. lekin main hamesha akela rahata tha. aur yah choosa. haalaanki jab tak tushaar ke saath mere sambandh the, tab tak main bahut santusht tha, phir bhee main chaahata tha. bahut adhik. pahale, mainne gair-gambheer rishte mein pravesh karane ka vichaar nahin kiya tha. main kuchh samay se kisee ke saath sambandh nahin bana raha tha, aur donon mein se kisee ek mein bhee jaana nahin chaah raha tha. isalie mainne socha tha ki shaareerik sambandh banaana kaaphee hoga. lekin phir mujhe tushaar pasand aane laga. aur aakhirakaar,

main samajhata hoon kee mujhe aapase pyaar hai ! part-1

 pyaar tasveer mein aaya, jaise yah hamesha karata hai. aur mujhe pata tha ki vah bhee mujhase pyaar karata tha. usane jo kuchh kiya ya kaha, vah nihit hai. bas use ehasaas nahin hua. isalie, mainne use apane dam par mahasoos karane ke lie intajaar karane ka phaisala kiya tha. main koee jaldee mein nahin tha. ya shaayad main tha. bas itana hee tha - mujhe ise chhipaane mein achchha lag raha tha. "are, vah meree kaar mein phusaphusaaya aur mere bagal mein khada ho gaya. haay, main muskuraaya jaisa ki mainne use dekhane ke lie mud gaya. har baar jab mainne usakee taraph dekha, to pahala khyaal mere dimaag mein anivaary roop se aaya tha- yaar! kaise!" koee bhee itana sundar ho sakata hai? aur us din koee apavaad nahin tha. lekin din ke ujaale mein use dekhakar kuchh khulaase bhee hue. baar aur hotal ke kamare mein roshanee usakee aankhon ke rang ko ujaagar karane ke lie paryaapt nahin the. chokalet braun kee videshee chhaaya. mujhe raahat milee, kisee kaaran se, halke rang kee aankhon vaale log mujhe hamesha daraate hain. jaisa ki mainne use dekha aur moolyaankan kiya ki kya vah achchha premee saamagree tha, mujhe ehasaas hua ki yah kitana bevakooph tha. main pahale se hee niraashaajanak tha. aadamee ke saath pyaar mein, kuchh samay ke saath so gaya tha, aur keval ab jaanch kar raha tha ki kya vah dayaneey tha! phir bhee, usake chehare kee visheshataon par dhyaan dena achchha tha. ve sooraj ke neeche seedhe apeel kar rahe the jaise ve un neem ke neeche the. roshanee ham aam taur par ujaagar kar rahe the. garm, timatimaatee aankhen, seedhee naak, kamaal ke honth, laajavaab muskaraahat. aur apane baalon ke ekal straind, raphald hone ke baavajood, bilkul sahee jagah par lag rahe the. us din, unake stabal ne sujhaav diya ki vah pichhale kuchh dinon mein munda nahin tha. yah keval unake aakarshan mein jud gaya aur unhen aur bhee kaamuk bana diya. bhale hee main use ghoorane ke lie ek pankti mein ghanton tak raha tha, mujhe ehasaas hua ki yah sab abhee bhee paryaapt nahin tha. main use sadiyon tak ghoorata raha. mujhe lagata hai ki ek pishaach hona ek achchha vichaar hai. em to, kya ho raha hai? kya aap kaaphee der se intazaar kar rahe hain? usane poochha. nahin. bas pandrah minat ya to. haalaanki mujhe koee aapatti nahin hai. mujhe yah pasand hai. yah bahut shaant aur nirmal hai. haan. yah milane ke lie ek achchhee jagah hai, usane javaab diya, samudr ke har taraph dekhane ke lie. aapako aisa lagata hai? kya yah baar se behatar hai, phir? unhonne javaab dene se pahale ek pal ke lie socha, ir dipend karata hai..jisaka anusaran karata hai. jab tak ham baad mein ek saath bistar par ja rahe hain, har jagah mere lie bahut badhiya hai. jark, mainne kaha jaise vah muskuraaya. kya? kya main tumhen chaahane vaala nahin hoon? aap mujhe chaahate hain. lekin har samay nahin. aapako yah pasand nahin hai? usane poochha. maine usakee taraph dekha. yah pasand nahin hai? agar koee ladaka use pasand karata hai, to use kya pasand nahin hai? ek ladakee jo chaahatee hai ki vah use sirph shaareerik kaaranon se bahut adhik chaahata hai, use andar se ek aavaaj aaee. jaahir hai, mainne ise chup kara diya aur kaha, isake bajaay, kya tum mujhase majaak kar rahe ho? mujhe yah pasand hai. to, isaka matalab hai ki main isake baad rakhee ja rahee hoon? mainne ek nakalee muskuraahat bikheree aur phir se samudr kee or dekhane laga. to, yah hai ki yah kaisa hone ja raha tha. vah abhee bhee mere lie apanee bhaavanaon ko sveekaar nahin karane ja raha tha, ham abhee bhee ise pooree tarah se bhautik rakhane ja rahe the aur mujhe hamesha ke lie akele mareen draiv ke saath chalana tha. aao ghoomane chale? mainne poochha, yah ek mauka chookana nahin chaahata, mere paas ek baar mareen draiv par tahalane ke lie kuchh kampanee thee. zaroor, usane kaha aur ham chalane lage. pahale pandrah minat ke lie, hamane kuchh nahin kaha. mujhe aashchary hua ki vah kya soch raha tha. main, ek ke lie, bas sab kuchh kaipchar kar raha tha jo mere dimaag mein hamesha ke lie ho raha tha aur ise bacha raha tha. main ise phir se nahin karane ja raha tha, isalie mainne ise behatar tareeke se sanjoya tha jabaki main abhee bhee ise praapt kar raha tha. hamaare paas teen din ek saath hain, tushaar ne thodee der baad kaha. haan ham karate hain. yah sab bistar mein kharch karane kee yojana bana rahe hain, kya aap? haalaanki main use $ ay nahin karana chaahata tha, mujhe pata tha ki vah haan kahega. lekin main use isake lie doshee nahin thahara sakata tha. kyonki,

main samajhata hoon kee mujhe aapase pyaar hai ! part-1

 aakhirakaar, yah vahee tha jo hamaare rishte ke baare mein -seks tha. isaka bhaar hai. aur bas. bakavaas. har aadamee ka sapana, eh? usane jhaanka. mainne kuchh nahin kaha. kisee kaaran se, main achaanak bhaagana chaahata tha aur kabhee vaapas nahin aaya. usake dimaag mein kaun see ladakee kabhee tushaar jaise aadamee ke saath ek khule rishte ke lie sahamat hogee? kya main nahin jaanata tha ki main usake lie gir jaoonga? aur kya unhonne pahale se hee nahin kaha ki unake paas is samay ek gambheer rishte mein aane ka samay nahin hai? phir mujhe isake lie raajee kyon hona pada? mujhe dard ko kyon aamantrit karana tha? mujhe pichhale kuchh dinon se tanaav ho gaya tha. mainne raat bitaee thee, soch raha tha ki ham donon ke lie bhavishy kya hoga. tushaar ko kab ehasaas hoga ki vah mujhase pyaar karata hai? aur agar ham kabhee bhee vaastavik sambandh rakhenge, to kya hoga? mere paas un savaalon ka koee javaab nahin tha. phir, jaise hee main samudr ke kinaare usake saath chala, usane mujhe achaanak maara ki vah shaayad kabhee mahasoos nahin karega ki vah mujhase pyaar karata hai. aur isalie, ham kabhee bhee ek vaastavik jode kee tarah ek saath nahin honge. main pahale hee dar gaya tha aur us samay tak, main vyaamoh tak pahunch gaya tha. mere gale mein thodee see kasaavat thee aur mujhe chinta thee ki main ro sakata hoon. chhhavi? sab theek hai? unakee aavaaj ne mujhe phir se pesh kiya. haan, sab theek hai, mainne usakee taraph dekha aur muskuraaya. tum aaj kisee aur duniya mein ho. tum bahut khoe hue dikhate ho. nahin, main sirph soch raha tha ... ke baare mein? usane poochha. kaam mainne apane aap kaha. main kabhee bhee use kuchh bataane vaala nahin tha ki main kaisa mahasoos karata hoon. main cheejon ko jatil nahin karana chaahata tha. theek hai. sachchaee-main sirph maut se darata tha ki vah us par kya pratikriya dega. bahut achchha mauka tha ki pratibaddhata kee maang karake main use dara sakata tha. cheejen theek chal rahee hain?  ek prakaar ka. keval dilachasp cheej jo main ja raha hoon vah paanch minat ka khel slot hai, isake alaava, prastaav vaastav mein nahin daal rahe hain. naitik ke saath bhee? vah achchhe projekts mein nahin la saka? unhonne poochha vaastav mein kuchh bhee dilachasp nahin hai. bas vahee puraana ubaoo vigyaapan. cheejen saamane aaengee. vah kuchh karega. chinta mat karo usane aashvast hokar kaha. har koee jaanata tha ki naik ko us par poora bharosa tha. shuroo mein, yah mujhe vismit karata tha, lekin phir mujhe isakee aadat pad gaee. aur isane mere aatmavishvaas ko badhaane mein madad kee, yah dekhate hue ki naitik ghadee ke chaaron or itana aakraamak aur gatisheel hai. aur dheere-dheere, mujhe vishvaas ho gaya tha-jab tak mere saath naitik tha, kuchh bhee galat nahin ho sakata tha. mujhe aasha hai. naitik kuchh kaam karega, mainne kaha. tab tak lagabhag andhera ho chuka tha aur roshanee chaaloo ho chukee thee. aur main aapako raat mein bataata hoon, jab mareen draiv un anaginat roshanee se roshan hota hai, to jagah bilkul aashcharyajanak lagatee hai. jab aap vahaan khade hote hain aur samudr ko dekhate hain, to aap anivaary roop se mahatvaheen mahasoos karate hain. aapako ehasaas hota hai ki duniya kitanee badee hai aur aapaka astitv kitana chhota hai.

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