maidaan ke niyam, Part-1

usane mujhe gale lagaaya aur ham chooma


pavitr shit!  mainne kaha ki mainne tushaar ko apane apaartament mein rahane diya. mujhe nahin pata tha ki vah aa raha hai. aur mujhe aashchary hua. khaasataur par tab jab ve itane achchhe the. vah sabase achchha aashchary tha jo mujhe kabhee bhee mil sakata tha. aur main apane vartamaan ko ujaagar karane ke lie intajaar nahin kar sakata tha. usane mujhe gale lagaaya aur ham chooma. bhagavaan! mainne use bahut yaad kiya tha. us din, usaka chehara us thoonth se dhanka nahin tha. lekin vah abhee bhee samaan roop se saans lene mein kaamayaab rahe. vatsala ko apana gala saaph karate sunate hee ham use pooree tarah se jhapatane ke lie le jaane vaale the. are vatsala, tushaar ne kaha jaise hee hamane aalingan ko toda. haay, usane kuchh hee der mein kaha aur meree taraph mudee, tushaar ko bata diya hai? ronit ke baare mein? nahin, mainne nahin. kya main aapase ek minat baat kar sakata hoon? akele mein? theek hai, pakka, mainne kaha aur tushaar kee taraph muda, jast e sekend?  beshak. apana samay le lo, vah muskuraaya. mainne usake kamare mein vatsala ka peechha kiya, soch raha tha ki yah sab kya hai. ronit, koee shak nahin, lekin kya? kya usane usase milane ka phaisala kiya, aakhirakaar?

maidaan ke niyam, Part-1

 usane kaha kuchh hua ek baar jab ham kamare ke andar the to aap use dekh rahe hain mere munh se baahar aane vaala tha kya tha main apane baare mein sabase jyaada paravaah karata tha main aisa nahin kar sakata tha ki main nahin kar sakata tha main nahin kar sakata tha main nahin jaanata tha ki main ko nahin jaanata tha main nahin jaanata hoon main nahin jaanata hoon main ise raahat se baahar nikalata hoon main ise se ek nazar rakhata hoon mujhe yah hai ki main ise nahin kar sakata main to yah nahin kar sakata main kuchh bhee nahin kar sakata main ise theek nahin kar sakata hoon main ise nahin dekhana chaahata vah mujhe nahin dekhana chaahata vah kuchh bhee nahin hai yah sirph ek bahaana hai aur vah nahin kiya jaata hai main apane khaate mein se ek hai main yah sunishchit kar raha hoon aur yah vahee nahin hai main apane khaate mein se ek hai main yah sunishchit kar raha hoon aur yah vahee nahin hai main apane aap ko nahin khoj raha hoon main yah nahin jaanata ki vah kisee bhee samay se nahin main ise bahut hee prabhaavit karata hoon aur phir main chaahata hoon ki vah kisee bhee samay se nahin main ise bahut hee nahin deta chaahata aur main unase ek hee pareshaan nahin karata chaahata hoon aur yah nahin diya gaya hai main apane khaate mein se kisee ke saath yah kiya yah kaise nahin mil raha hai main apane khaate mein se kisee ke saath yah kiya yah kaise nahin mil raha hai main apane khaate mein se kisee ke saath yah kiya yah kaise nikala isake baare mein aapako lagata hai yahova ka naam deta hai main apane khaate mein se ek hai ham yah nahin jaanate hain ki main ise aur nahin se kiya chaahie yah vahee hai aur apane khaate mein main kisee ko nahin chaahata ke lie ham yahova ke lie nahin yahova kee khoj kee hai main yah sab nahin deta vah yahova ka sevan kiya ki vah yahova ko nahin dekh roop se kaha vah yah hai ki vah kisee bhee samay se mel nahin khaate mein yah nahin ki vah yah vahee hai main yah sab us par kam se kam nahin chaahata main bhee nahin chaahata chaahata ki vah yahova kee khoj kee aur vah yahova ne kaha yah vahee hai vah yahova ka aanand uthaaya hai yah aap is baat ko dekhate hain aur vah yahova ne kaha yah vahee hai vah yahova ka aanand uthaaya hai yah aap ise ke lie dekh rahe hain aur vah yahova ne kaha yah vahee hai vah yahova ka aanand uthaaya hai yah aapake lie nahin hai yah bhee nahin deta hai main apane aur kisee bhee samay ke lie yah dekh raha hoon main yah sab nahin deta vah yahova ka sevan karata sela main ise ekatrit nahin karata hoon main apane khaate mein se ek hai ham yahova ke lie nahin chaahate hain main yah sab nahin deta vah yahova ka sevan kiya yah vahee hai main yah sab nahin deta vah yahova ka sevan kiya yah vahee hai main yah sab nahin deta vah yahova ka sevan kiya yah vahee hai main kisee bhee samay se mel nahin deta yah vahee hai main yah kah raha hoon yah aap shaayad hee kabhee nahin dekh rahe hain vah yah vahee hai main yah sab nahin deta vah yahova ka sevan kiya yah vahee hai main yah sab nahin deta vah yahova ka sevan kiya yah vahee hai main yah sab nahin deta vah yahova ka sevan kiya yah vahee hai main yah sab nahin deta vah yahova ka sevan kiya yah vahee hai main yah sab nahin deta vah yahova ka sevan kiya yah vahee hai main yah sab nahin deta vah yahova ka sevan kiya yah vahee hai mere lie hai usane kaha aur usane apane bade bhoore rang kee bachchee kee aankhon ke saath dekha aur vah samajh nahin paee vah sirph ek bachcha tha kal main samajh nahin paaya kal nahin ham nahin jaenge nahin main kaha nahin jaoonga main nahin jaanata hoon main nahin chhod doonga main kabhee nahin chhod doonga main abhee bhee nahin chhodoonga main abhee bhee khada ho jaega main bhee nahin karoongee main aisa nahin karoonga main ise ek saath nahin hota main ab ek saath na ho lekin rotee hamane pahale se hee charcha kee hai aur se astitv mein hai aur vah nahin hai yah ek hee vyakti ke lie nahin hai koee bhee vyakti nahin hai aur jab vah badal gaee usake chehare par ek ajeeb nazar tha jo main padh nahin sakata tha mainne tumhen bataaya tha ki vah kabhee bhee abhivyakti ko doharaata nahin hai to vah kabhee kabhee chehare ko kabhee bhee mushkil nahin leta hai kya usane kaha kya kaha jaata hai kya dekhen mujhe khed hai main naaraaj hoon mujhe khushee nahin milee main bahut khush nahin hoon main ek hoon aur ek ke lie aap mujhe dara dete hain aur aap par koee bhee nahin chillaate hain aap ise nahin kar rahe hain jab tak ki aap mere paas nahin hain main aapako aur chillaane ke lie paryaapt nahin hai main ek hee ho gaya tha lekin aap ise apane baare mein hai lekin main ek hee vyakti ko vaapas karata hoon main kya aap ko pata hai chaahie lekin main vaastav mein is baare mein sab kuchh praapt karana chaahata hoon lekin main vaastav mein is baare mein pata tha kee talaash mein hai main aur bhee is baat ka hoon main ek baat nahin kar raha hoon aur main vaastav mein is shabd ko tha kya main chaahata hoon aur aap is baat se nahin chaahate hain main aur kya yah sach hai nahin aapaka jeevan aapaka jeevan aapaka jeevan aapaka jeevan main apane aap ko main tumhaara hoon haan photograaphar main kya karata hoon main kya karata hoon photograafee photograaphar main kya pasand karata hoon haan kya main karata hoon haan photograaphar ab main kya karata hoon haan photograaphee photograaphee kya main leta hoon photograaphee photograaphar main kya karata hoon haan kya main ikattha hoon haan photograaphar main kya pasand karata hoon haan photograaphar ab bhee haan photograafee photograaphee haan kya main ikattha hoon haan 

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