band adhyaay, Part-1

ankit ke saath kuchh hua?


are, tum theek ho? mainne poochha, jaisa ki main rahane vaale kamare mein baitha tha, tushaar ke baare mein jab se main apane shoot se vaapas aaya tha, mainne use yaad kiya aur mainne use bahut yaad kiya, bahut buree tarah se. lekin main abhee khud ko usaka saamana karane ke lie nahin la saka ya usase abhee tak baat nahin kar paaya. mujhe nahin pata tha ki main use kya kahoonga, bina yah spasht roop se spasht karane ke ki main usake saath pyaar mein oonchee edee ke joote par sir tha. main apane eksapreshan ya ton ko maask karane mein bahut achchha nahin tha. main dikhaava nahin kar paoonga. ..aur vah mil jaega usane pahale hee spasht kar diya tha ki vah mere saath poorn sambandhon mein nahin mil sakata hai.

band adhyaay, Part-1

 aur main maan gaya tha. isalie agar use pata chal gaya ki main usake lie gir gaya hoon, to vah shaayad mujhase hamesha ke lie bhaag jae. aakhirakaar, hamaare paas ek vyavastha thee, aur main ise tod raha tha. main use khona nahin chaahata tha. bas isake baare mein socha mujhe ek pankti mein raaton ke lie rakha. vatsala apaartament mein ghus gaee. bhagavaan ko jaanane ke lie! main use khone ka jokhim nahin utha sakata tha. . . main khud bahut achchha nahin kar raha tha. lekin vatsala ke chehare par nazar kuchh aisee thee ki main bhee nahin chooka. kuchh to jaroor tha. aur mujhe sirph yah jaanana tha ki kya. haan, main theek hoon ... kya yah spasht hai? usane poochha. kuchh oopar hai. haan, yah aapake chehare par likha hai. batao-kya hai? ankit ke saath kuchh hua?  nahin nahin. ankit ke saath saamaan shaant hai. usane yah kahane se pahale ek minat ke lie socha, main ronit se milee. ronit? aap apane ronit matalab? ronit oberoy? haan. mere ronit he bhagavaan. ye kaise hua? kab? kahaan pe? mainne poochha. aaj shooting ke baad. vah vahaan set par the. vah kisee se milane aaya tha. aur tum usase mile? ke roop mein, vaastav mein usase baat kee aur saamaan? usane sir hilaaya aur mainne raahat kee saans lee. ab jab vah aakhirakaar usase milee thee, to use mahasoos hua hoga ki vah ek aur niyamit aadamee tha. vah chalata hai aur ham baakee logon kee tarah baat karata hai. ki vah bilkul bhagavaan nahin tha. aur isalie, vah usake oopar hona chaahie. ant mein aur. ? mainne poochha. main isake baakee hisson ko sunana chaahata tha. aur i..waill, main use pasand aaya. vah achchha tha, usane saavadhaanee se kaha jaise ki usake shabdon ko maapana. aur kya usane aisa kiya. kya vah jaanata hai ki "haan. mainne apana parichay dene ke baad, vah hai. usane phesabuk se mera naam yaad kiya. aur hamane baat kee. lagabhag paanch minat ... kis baare mein?  mainne poochha. vah spasht roop se kuchh chhipa rahee thee. kuchh khaas nahin ... bas aam taur par chhotee see baat, vah sharma gaee. main ek minat ke lie chup raha, usake aur adhik kahane ka intajaar kar raha tha. usakee abhivyakti ne kaha ki kahaanee ke lie aur bhee bahut kuchh tha. , lekin usane chup rahana bhee chuna. vatsala. mujhe dekho, mainne kaha aur usane meree mulaakaat kee. ab tum ho. main bolata hoon, er ... chhavee, mujhe vah pasand hai. mujhe vah pasand aaya. itana bhayaanak ki vah vah sab kuchh ho gaya jo mainne use samajha tha .. aur bahut kuchh. he bhagavaan, main bas itana hee kah sakata tha. yah bura tha. yah bahut bura tha. vatsala ke saath bitae gae har samay mein, jab usane is vyaakulata ko dekha tha, jab usane toyalet mein chhipakalee ko dekha tha. vaapas saamaany hone se pahale usane mujhe isase chhutakaara dilaaya tha. isake alaava, mainne dekha tha ki use duniya kee har cheej ko halke mein lete hue dekha tha. lekin jaisa ki usane mujhe bataaya ki ronit kitana bhayaanak tha, vah behad daree huee lag rahee thee. aur main aisa hone ke lie use dosh nahin deta. kaun nahin hoga? kruks kharaab hain, main aapako bataata hoon. aap soch sakate hain ki ek haphte, ek maheene ya ek saal baad yah ud gaya hai, lekin aap sirph khud ko bevakooph bana rahe hain. krash kabhee nahin marate. ve vahaan hain. ve hamesha vaheen hain aur is tarah ke udaaharan unhen phir se jagaane mein pramukh bhoomika nibhaate hain. bas ek uttejana kee prateeksha kar raha hai. vah pal jab aapako pata chalata hai ki jis aadamee ke lie aapane ek baar hot kiya tha vah ab bhee utana hee bhayaanak hai. ki aap abhee bhee use pasand karate hain, aur phir, aapako anupaat se baahar bahane se rokane ke lie jo kuchh bhee aap kar sakate hain use karane kee aavashyakata hai. khaasakar tab jab aap kisee aur ke prati pratibaddh hon. yahee haal vatsala ka tha. main achchhee tarah se usakee durdasha kee kalpana kar sakata tha. ab kya karoon, chhavee?  vatsala ne dheemee aavaaz mein poochha. kshati niyantran. usake baare mein sochana band karo. yah aisa nahin hai ki yah kuchh bhee madad karega. aap bas usake lie mushkil se girenge. main nahin karana chaahata. main har samay usake baare mein sochana chaahata hoon. aur aisa nahin hai ki agar main bhoolane kee koshish karata hoon to bhee yah madad karega. pahale bhee aisa ho chuka hai. ronit ke maamale mein kuchh bhee madad nahin karata hai. main bas usake lie mushkil se gir raha hoon. "tee pata hai. lekin aap aisa nahin hone de sakate, vatsala. yah asveekaary hai. ankit ko bulao, mainne kaha. aur mujhe chaahie. mujhe ronit ke baare mein batao? nahin. abhee tak nahin. aap nahin hain. abhee seedhe soch raha hoon. yadi aap use abhee bataenge, to vah shaayad mahasoos karega ki vah kaisa mahasoos kar raha hai. aur vah aahat hoga. bas use kol karen aur ab aam taur par usase baat karen. baad mein, jab aap ronit ke saath is episod mein honge, to aap use bata sakate hain. sab kuchh isake baare mein। usane soch-samajhakar sir hilaaya. bas, usake phon kee ghantee bajane lagee aur usane pradarshan ko dekha, aur muskuraaya. are, ankit. mujhe vah kol karana tha. main abhee ise kabhee bhee band nahin kar sakata tha kyonki main chhod diya tha, vaastav mein-taara ke svaagat ke baad klab se, tushaar mujhe bula raha tha. usakee kol dheere-dheere kam susangat ho rahee thee, aur yah mujhe chintit karane lagee thee. agar main unakee kol ko lambe samay tak najarandaaj karata raha, to shaayad vah bhool jae ki ek nishchit chhavee bhee maujood thee. aur main use yaad kar raha tha. kaaphee pahale vah pichhale poore haphte se mumbee mein the aur main unase sirph ek baar risepshan kee raat mein mila tha. mujhe pata tha ki vah us din ja raha tha,

band adhyaay, Part-1

 aur mujhe nahin pata tha ki vah kab vaapas aa raha tha. oh yaar. mainne kiya kya hai? jab hamen ek saptaah mein sirph ek baar milane ke lie milata tha, to ham us din ke aane ke lie poore saptaah intajaar karate the aur ab jab unhonne poora saptaah vahaan bitaaya tha, to main unase sirph ek baar mila tha. aur vah ek avasar bhee aisa hee tha. hamen theek se baat karane ka mauka bhee nahin mila. ham sabhee ek saath taara ke svaagat mein barbaad ho gae, saikadon any peeseeol ke beech mein. tatha. ally. isalie, hamen pyaar kie hue do haphte ho chuke the aur ek haphte se hamane baat kee thee. jaahir hai, main use paagalon kee tarah yaad kar raha tha. aur mujhe pata tha ki vah vaastav mein mujh par paagal hona chaahie mujhe pata tha ki main bevakooph tha, dukh mein ho raha tha aur shaayad (anuvaad-ummeed) use usee ke maadhyam se jaana, lekin mainne koee aur raasta nahin dekha. main usaka saamana karane se dar raha tha. main ek bevakoof staars ke roop mein saamane nahin aana chaahata tha- aankhon mein padee kishoree, ek aise vyakti se pyaar karatee thee, jise usake shareer se jyaada aur kabhee-kabhee usake saath bhojan karane mein dilachaspee thee. shaayad isalie bhee kyonki unhonne meree kampanee ko akele khaana pasand kiya. koee bhee kampanee kisee bhee kampanee se behatar nahin hai. bakavaas. main phir se palat raha tha. yah aashcharyajanak hai ki kaise mainne hamesha khud ko avasaad mein dhaalane kee kshamata haasil kee hai. main ek vichaar karana shuroo karata hoon aur antatah ise vyaamoh kee seema se kaheen door le jaata hoon. yah ek baat hai jo mujhe abhee bhee o kaam par pahunchane kee aavashyakata hai. vaise bhee. sabhee sanketon ko dekhate hue-mujhe bahut achchha ahasaas hua ki unake paas mere lie bhee vaastavik bhaavanaen hain. bas .. main dar gaya tha. yah sab sach hone ke lie bahut achchha tha. ant mein, kuchh aur ghanton tak jhaadoo lagaane ke baad, mainne apana phon aur apanee himmat badhaee aur phon kiya. haan? unhonne ek yaantrik lahaje mein kaha. tushaar .. mainne namrata se kaha. haan? theek hai, to yah sirph saada anaavashyak tha. usane mujhe pichhale saptaah mein lagabhag ek darjan baar phon kiya tha, aur ab vah aisa kaam kar raha tha jaise ki vah mere nambar ko pahachaanata hee nahin hai. aur meree aavaaj, yah chot lagee hai. yah chhavee hai, mainne dheere se kaha haan, kaho, usane kaha, usaka lahaja thoda nahin badal raha hai. kya ham baat kar sakate hain? zaroor. kya ho raha hai? tushaar, krpaya is tarah se kaam na karen jaisa mainne kiya. maaf karana? aap jaanate hain ki mera kya matalab hai. main nahee. aur mere paas kisee bhee khel ko khelane ka samay nahin hai, unhonne kathor roop se kaha. are, kam se kam meree baat to suno. main sach mein sun raha hoon, mujhe abhee jaana hai. mere paas karane ke lie kaam hai. main tumhen phon karoonga .. kabhee na kabhee. mainne kuchh nahin kaha. vah itana alag abhinay kar raha tha, isalie alag ho gaya. jaise ki vah mujhe jaanata bhee nahin tha. jaise ki ham sirph parichit the, bas kisee ne kisee paartee mein ek baar unase mulaakaat kee. usake svar ne mujhe maar diya. yah mere sabase bade bure sapane ke sach hone jaisa tha-ki mujhe usase koee matalab nahin tha. mere paas jo kuchh bhee tha, vah bas ek guzare zamaane ka tha. meree aankhon mein aansoo bhar aae.

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